i am me

tension is passion

just say the word DEBATE. my knees tremble as the word goes. that word has been traumatizing me ever since. and it came again when i was watching debate this morning. maybe that is why i went back early, cause i just cant stand the impact that a single debate can give me.

my nightmare:

it was in MRSM langkawi. form 5. fasting month. it was compulsory for everyone to join debate. i had always have a problem with debating, formally or informally. people cutting while i'm talking really gets on my nerves.

it was semi-finals. just 1 more step to finals. my teammates were didie, a school debater (she was the only reason we had it to semis) and diana ( better than me). the topic was something about nutrition if im not mistaken.

i wont tell what happened, but something i said made the opponent AND the audience laughed at my stupidity, and worse, some even clapped. go to hell!! didie was so pissed off with me for fucking ourselves really bad. on the spot, i burst out crying, in front of everyone. after everything is settled, my friends came up to me, they had to hold me from falling down crying, sobbing like a small girl. i didnt actually know which part was worse: losing or embarrasing myself n my teammates. either way, it was one of the most bitter experience for me and i now, swear will not take part in debate or anything whatsoever. period!!

jatuh ego tak boleh kutip balik tau!!

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