i am me

tension is passion

or silver lining in english. as in the saying; there's always a silver lining in every cloud. i know my "bahasa melayu yang baik dan benar" is not THAT good, maybe thats why my photo wasnt in the papers; best student malaysia, or kedah, or school. heh. how pathetic am i??

in Islam, ada hikmah di sebalik segala tiap apa yang berlaku.
yesterday was one of my most miserable days in this place that i actually know little of. macam jatuh ditimpa tangga. dahla jatuh sure tergolek-golek punya.

yesterday was my methodology paper. subjek apa tu? i wish i knew. the questions were so wrong wrong wrong. those kinds of questions are not catered for medical brains. eh, come on la. statistics? how to write, read, criticise journals? to makes matters worse, our syllabus was the latest, so NO PAST YEAR PAPERS!! we dont have a single idea on how the questions will look like, plus kitorang kan past-year-questions doctors. 100% dependent on those questions. and as a cherry on top, WAJIB lulus. ingat senang ke?? lulus means kena dapat 81% dan ke atas tau.

that was one. more to go. bear with me, please.

results of some papers were out. communication skills. subjek apa? this one was a role-play test. you must act as a doctor, and they evaluate you on how you handle the patients. so, the confident me, memanjat tangga2 ( diet, remember? ) ke lantai 3 to see the results. as we reached lantai 2, i bumped into a friend of mine.

fren: NISHA!!
me: yup? apa? ko dah tengok result? dapat apa?
fren: aku lulus.
me: aku?
fren: erm, ko nak aku cakap ke, kau tengok sendiri?
me: SHIT!!! JANGAN KATA AKU FAIL WEH!!
fren: a'ah. ko tak lulus siot.

dengan skirt yg dah almost sampai lutut sebab berlari naik tangga (more calories burned), i squeezed myself through the commotions. one thing i like about my class' namelist is that my name is the last one. so dari jauh lagi aku dah nampak nama aku.

87. TIDAK LULUS.
oh my?? 87 tak lulus ke?
the lecturer said herself that i passed!! how could this happen??
ok la, at least i'm not the only one. imagine the major humiliation if im the only one in my batch.
sabar nisha, sabar.

okay, 2nd result.
public health.
this one, not that bad la. only 2 people got A. so i dont really mind getting a B. tapi kata nak score, camne ni??

so, back to the topic about silver lining.

1. exam sucks because; of course, last minute study. memang laa. takpe2, next semester aku study everyday after class. [*fingers crossed*]

2. result sucks because:
a. refer no 1
b. tak banyak doa kot. ive been feeling so far away from Allah lately. sigh.
c. take every exams seriously, as in seriously, seriously.
d. my brain was glucose-thirsty. as a result of my damn tunggang terbalik diet. haha. ya right.

3. today is a bad day because tomorrow will turn out to be a good one. tomorrow as in today, which is true. 100% repeated questions for this morning's paper, 2 lulus papers, and a B+ for microbial infection.

lately, bad news have been haunting me. my best friend's granma fighting cancer, and my teacher's child had an accident where the bus turned turtle, and God knows what happened.

Ya Allah, tabahkanlah iman mereka. amin.

p/s: i cant feel my butt right now. kebas.

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