i am me

tension is passion

fact no #1: i cant live without drama.

not that i like being in the middle of a conflict or arguement ( or do i like being in one? ). its just that my life seems to be destined to be a not-very-plain life. dramas, chaos, conflicts, its just an almost daily ritual of my life. sometimes when my day turns out to be so boring, i wished that something will happen, regardless of it being a good one, or a bad one. hehe. i had onced faced ( macam faced dengan dragon je....tak pelah ) stacks of problems in less than a week ( re: series of unfortunate events, i think tim burton ciplaks from me ), but not even once it crossed my mind that i wish for a normal, happy ending life. hah. how miserable.

fact no #2: i cant live without doing at least some project in a day

thats why i became KBI's topup shop.
thats why i held parties for everyone's birthday.
thats why they pointed me as biro acara MASEK. haha. yelah tu. everybody knows exactly why i was 'the chosen one'. sebab diorang ni taknak ada lagi sorang tu yang pegang jawatan. betul kan?

fact no #3: i write my to-do list everyday

to those yang masih ragu-ragu nak belikan apa untuk birthday aku, a notebook is fine. ( ayat berlapik tak? tapi taknak laa buku 555 tu, nak la buku yang comel2 sikit. haha)

fact no #4: i still cant explain why people keep coming to me when it comes to past year papers

1st situation
lokasi: depan sentrum ( aka koop or koperasi), nisha sedang bahagia menikmati aiskrim paddle pop rainbow sambil menunggu aishah habis solat.

kawan 1: eh, nisha. just the person im looking for!
nisha: nape? nak topup ke? (refer to fact no #2)
kawan 1: no3! nak past year for biology of microbes.
nisha: yang mana? aku tak sure mine complete or not
kawan 1: argh. dont care. as long as its from you, its considered complete. and i want the answers sekali. and make sure the answers are correct. kalau salah i blame you.
nisha: *jeling and walked away, still enjoying her ice cream*

2nd situation
lokasi: dalam bilik, di depan laptop, besok exam public health

nisha baru sahaja mengonline ymnya dan pergi ke toilet sebentar untuk memenuhi kebutuhan faali. kembali dari toilet,
5 people buzzed me.
1st: nisha ko busy tak? aku nak pinjam kertas kau malam ni boleh?
2nd: weh, nak compare jawapan paper 6 mei. gitau semua jawapan ko. type la camni: 1.a, 2.c, 3.b
3rd: nisha no 23, 34, 50, 65 apa jawapan dia?
4th: nishaaaaaa....
5th: nisha ko ada latest paper tu tak?

guys, tolong lah. im not a genius. otherwise i wont be sitting for UTS, apatah lagi UAS. dont expect too much from me. if soalan, yes, you guys can get it from me, but the answers, ttetttt, wrong person. comparing answers is fine, though.

fact no #5: why does it take almost an hour for me to write this entry? well, at least it lessens my burden of not knowing what to do in the next 240 hours.

ok. that was actually a direct translation of the peribahasa kucing bertanduk which means, tak mungkin. if im not mistaken. by the way i dont know (or did i once knew it? ) what tanduk is in english. dont blame me, its the environment im living in. big LOL.

so, the kucing bertanduk is when nisha skipped her everyday of almost 12 hours of beauty sleep and got herself weeping ( im proud to say this ) while watching kuch kuch hota hai. how pathetic? haha.

which made me lost my mengantukness and sambung watching another movie; artificial intelligence (AI). the last time i watched this movie was in the cinema with all my family members decades ago.

and, watching this movie reminds me of my mother ( not that my mom left me in the woods with a teddy bear ). its just that the fact that this pitiful robot would do anything just to spend some time with his mom, which made me, again, crying.

i wanna go home and run into umi's arms and tell her how much i love her!!

p/s: should the tajuk be once in a blue moon? does kucing bertanduk applies to rarely happened situations, but it does occur? hmmm, my BM is getting way way way corrupted.

today's lesson is about dating or being in a relationship; dos and donts:

1. never date someone in ur primary school, they suck.

2. never date someone because of his looks only, they tend to be frustating.

3. never date someone without the permission or keberkatan from the mother; as in mothers.

4. never date someone because you're bored and have nothing to do. these people usually expects more from you, which you never bother to care. they will usually haunt you.

5. never date your best friend. its a heartache. you will tend to lose him, no matter what.

6. never date someone without knowing him/ her at least for months. these people usually have a hidden agenda. re: pisau cukur, menggali lubang di poket anda; or worse: psycho maniac or molester or rapist or just simply wants you for the physical thingie.

7. never date someone who is naive, they will tend to call their mother to tell them ( their mother) that they are dating and you will end up talking with his mother ( on the phone )instead.

8. match-making is actually an effective way to be in a relationship. i have evidence. want one?

9. its okay to cry if he/she dumps you in a horrible way. this is what you should do: cry cry cry, delete everything in your handphone, laptop, mp3 whatsoever that have something to do with him, write a poem of how much you hate him, clear your mind, act as if nothing happen the next day. stop seeing him or call or sms him. finish! simple yet amazingly effective.

10. being single is great. being a bitch is better.

p/s: these are through my way of seeing things, some are based on my own experiences, some, well, others are from what ive heard before.

please please please nisha!

remind pak rato ( bapak kos) to not potong the internet yet! im not finished yet. what about my blog? what about my FB? gossips? news?

oh please!! dont torture me like this.
byebye the only cure for ultimate boredom,
hello tortured 24 hours x 10 days.

nisha, a note for yourself:

pergi matos and beli all these stuffs, otherwise u'll stuck in your room calling 14045 (mcd) everyday:

1. perencah nasi goreng
2. bawang
3. telur
4. milo
5. sayur-sayuran ( adik-adik, kalian suka makan sayur ga? oo, kenapa ga suka? kalian tau ga sayur itu buaannyakk kebaikannya. di piramida gizi juga sayur itu yang paling bawah sebelumnya roti ma nasi. nah, itu tandanya sayur itu..apa adik2? yaaa, bagus! -practising for penmas- )
6. gula? xyah kot. nanti diabet.
7. susu
8. roti
9. stacks of cds
10. kondom. haha. kondom for my handphone ok? positive. yup. thats the way to go.

p/s: rip mj. betul ke he died in islam?

disebabkan aku seorang yang sangat berpandangan jauh, my pandangan skips this week and next ( re: final exam, zzzzzz), i've already written my to do list before going back. and its a one-page full!! so so cant wait to go back. yellow house wait for me!! i'm coming for you.

p/s: i have the habit of writing to-do stuffs everyday. talk about being organised.

p/p/s: i have no idea on how to study communication skills. period.

this one is for you, 'HUN' !!

when my heart was someone else's,
you stole it.
because of that,
i lost a friend,
a good one.
do you know that?

when my heart was yours,
you broke it like shattered glass.
but you did had the heart to mend it.
the wound healed.
but that was before.

when my heart was yours again,
you broke it,
again.
but dont you have the slightest idea of mending it.
cause this wound comes with a scar.
and this scar is permanent.

from now on,
keep your ass away from me.
let me live my own life,
and you live yours.
fair.
all in all,
this is what you wanted isn't it?
so this is what you get.

dont play wih fire,
cause youre the one who will get burned.

yesterday, i was admitted in ( or is it to or into? not sure laa) the hospital. no worries, just demam panas which the doctor himself can't explain why. anyways, im back on track and yesterday i learned so many lessons of life.



1. i learned who my true friends are.

2. i learned who were the only people that are always there to help me, not because they had to, but because they consider me as a FRIEND, which according to my dictionary is, someone who is always there, whenever youre happy or sad, someone who would lend a shoulder to lean on, who wouldnt hesitate to go to and fro just for the sake of their friend.

3. i learned that some people that i never considered them as a 'friend' is also there when i was weak, and held their hands, sincerely.

4. i learned that some people that i did consider them as a 'friend', hesitated to come and visit me. how irony is that, huh?

5. i learned that a friend could and would go to the maximum to help a friend.

6. ( out of topic sikit, but still ) i learned that you can never, i mean it this time, NEVER mend my heart this time around. i cant and i wont let you. just let this wound heal by itself.

7. to those who i consider FRIEND, i thank you guys from the bottom of my heart and i wont forget what you guys had helped me. jasa baik dibawa mati. love you guys so much.

8. all the pinggans, thermos, pisau and other stuffs yang korang pinjamkan tu, nanti aku pulangkan ek? thanx!!

p/s: mas nurse handsome!!!!

~~~melting point~~~~









saya berjanji akan mencuba sedaya upaya saya dan akan mencuba yang terbaik dalam ujian akhir semester ini. Ya Allah, berikanlah aku kekuatan, tabahkan hati aku, dan mudahkanlah aku untuk menempuhi ujian ini.








not good.
exam is back to haunt me, again.

yang geram sangat tu, kenapa banyak sangat B+. dahla tu 79.4. macam siot je. rasa macam nak gi melutut je kat kaki dr tommy tolong tambah markah. nak muntah dah laa baca tumbuh kembang and genetik. lama-lama aku yang tumbuh kembang. horizontally, unfortunately. *sigh*

subjects kena amik for UAS:

1. biology of microbes
2. microbial infection
3. pharmacology
4. public health
5. embryology. lagi?? huhuhu
6. communication skills. ( yang ni jangan tanya, hahaha)

the problem is, how the hell am i supposed to cover all this in just 1 week?

i know! only one thing.

PAST YEAR QUESTION PAPERS!!!

p/s: doakan aku untuk exam ni, to those yang membaca. hehe.


gambar zaman bile ntah aku amik ni. aku takkan lupa all the things we shared and endured before. love you! muax!!

my rumah-kontrak-hunting days are back.

BEWARE!

nica is more aggresive than before. walaupun dulu dah dapat, tapi tiba-tiba jatuh ke tangan orang lain. taknak cerita. its toxic.

sekarang ni, minggu exam means everyday of sleepover at my friend's house sebab discussion group. hem hem. hahaha.

so sekarang dah mula timbul masalah benci-membenci, kutuk-mengutuk, we might as well find a proper house where kitorang boleh buat study group dengan aman dan sentosa.

i was in la la land when we found a bolehlaa house in cikampek ( walking distance from faculty) just now. sampai kebas bontot cari rumah daa~~

and now....we wait.
doakan rumah tu jadi milik aku!!

pastikan masuk tu straight. jangan masuk habis pulak. separuh je. ha. ok. betul dah tu. tekan sampai habis. ok. tarik keluar.

bingung?

itulah dia, experience pertama aku handle pasien. hebat tak?

masih bingung?

baca di bawah.

abg wan: nah, amik ni.
me: nak buat apa?
abg wan: cucuk la, ko nak buat pe lagi dengan syringe.
me: saya yang kena cucuk?
abg wan: ko ni nak belajar ke tak? ingat senang ke nak pegang pasien 1st year?

dengan tangan yang terketar-ketar, aku pun cucuk la bontot ibu usia 60 an tu..

dah faham? ok, congrats. kalau tak faham, sila ulang. haha.

hari ni, kitorang ikut acara BAKSOS. not plural for bakso tau! baksos tu bakti sosial. pergi desa and budget dokter la, tolong-tolong orang desa to improve their health and so on.

from leprosy patient to tersalah bagi obat sampai kena kejar dia sampai rumah, i've been there, done that.

thats the one good thing about here. handling patients as a non-doctor is not a problem. great!!

im tired.
stop bugging me.

these past few days, im starting to actually realise who my true friends are. even those who you call friends, are actually backstabbers, hypocrites and lots more.

what is a friend?
someone who will be there when you need a shoulder to cry on?
or the person that will be there when you're happy and poof!, gone, when the wheel turns around?

point blank, what my friend had said before is absolutely true;
smile and the world smiles with you,
cry and you cry alone.

these past days, ive been crying like a baby. every night, almost everything turns out to be so wrong. i wanna go home and be in my parents arms. oh, how i miss them so!

i feel so lost.
confused.
alone.

and just let it be.

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